Fa La La La La – La Blah Bluh buuuuh…

It’s not even Christmas and I’m worn out people and I was starting to get pretty grumpy!

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I’ve been to the store and back so many times that I think I’ve paid the same amount in gas as I have in gifts!  What was looking to be a terrible Christmas seems to be turning around.

With my husband’s grandmother severely struggling with her dementia I was originally dreading this trip to see them.  Sometimes we have wonderful conversations on the phone together, and other times I just play along with the strange stories she tells me.  All the while I worry like hell for her and wonder what she thinks and remembers inside.  But if anyone treats her or talks to her like a child I’m going to lose my sh*t on them.

Everyone in the family is taking this differently, from the kind and caring members who come to see her on a daily basis, to the awesome girlfriend of my father in law (Becky) who helps care for her every week.  My husband is silent about the whole thing, and others are obsessing greatly about every tiny detail of this upcoming Christmas right down to the very gifts that I got for her.  I’m just holding my breath and hoping that this trip goes well enough for everyone to be happy.

I’m doing my best not to make any judgements on anyone and how they react to this terrible disease that she’s going through.  Everyone accepts things differently.  I personally have cried my eyes out on several occasions, thinking of all of the things that we can’t do together anymore.  The things that she won’t witness in my life.  In my heart I know that everything will be alright, but it’s just going to suck a lot at the moment.

However some nice things have cropped up despite what seemed like a very sad holiday.  I was blessed with a bonus at work, I cooked a delicious meal to take with us to his grandparents house so no one has to cook, I get early Christmas presents, we got some awesome new gear for camping this year, and Justin got an extra day off so we get to go a day early!

I hope everyone else has a very merry Christmas or whichever holiday you celebrate.  I’m crossing my fingers that this one will be great.

On a writing note, I just now started working on the sequel to The Sage’s Eye.  Every time I tried to work on it, I sighed and turned on the TV.  I think I needed a longer break than I anticipated from doing NaNoWriMo.  Hopefully things will pick up soon and I can crank out this book!

HAPPY HOLIDAYS EVERYONE!

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